Friends
by TheEvilPanda
Summary: Just because they're friends doesn't mean they like each other a lot. Rated T for some swearing.


Only one other person besides Haineko can have a huge fight over nothing with Tobiume. You wouldn't expect this, but, hey. What can I tell you? Tobiume's real quarrels only happen with one person. And that person is her closest friend. Besides Haineko, of course.

Matsumoto Rangiku found this out the day that her captain was sick. Amazing, right? The child prodigy, the boy genius, the one and only, icy captain Hitsugaya Toushiro got a fever. Mostly because Mayuri's new project had gotten all over him, and he transformed back into an adorable small child whos only friend was Hinamori Momo. His reiatsu leaked out, and everyone there either froze, passed out, or gotten sick. That was Shiro-chan's case. Anyway, the little boy had a fever, Momo was taking care of him, and Matsumoto was forced to babysit their zanpakuto, whom, unfortunately, were still in their human forms. Unfortunately for her, that is.

Tobiume and Hyourinmaru sat on the opposite sides of the 10th division's headquarters. Haineko was flirting with Hyourinmaru and bugging Tobiume at the same time, dashing back and forth. Matsumoto was just sitting there, quietly sipping a bottle of sake. And then she suggested it. The one thing among many things among hundreds of things among thousands of things among millions of things among billions of things among trillions of things among zillions of things among the infinite amount of things. Whatever, she just said it.

"Oi, Tobiume. Why don't you go out with Hyourinmaru? I mean, Momo-chan and Taichou are a perfect couple, so you guys must be a couple too, huh." Hyourinmaru twitched, and Tobiume snorted.

"Ha, Matsumoto-san. Ha. Ha." She said dryly. "Why in hell do you think that this... this... this icy basturd of all icy basturds would be my husband? Really." She started polishing her two bells. Hyourinmaru frowned a deeper frown then usual.

"I don't see why I would go well with this insolent bratty bitch," He said, tossing his hair behind his head. "She's as repulsive as Aizen, and hell, he is way repulsive." Tobiume stuck out her tongue at him, while he flipped her off. Matsumoto thought it funny that although they both usually attacked dignified, they argued when alone like how Rukia and Ichigo did. They acted like premature brats. Tobiume stood up.

"You did _not_ just flip me off!" She said. He smiled cheekily.

"Oh, yes, I did." He smirked. Then he put up his claw to her face while he examined his other claw. Tobiume's face burned with anger.

"Matsumoto." She said.

"Yeah?" Matsumoto asked her.

"Give me your phone."

"Huh?"

"GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING PHONE!" She screeched.

"Fine, fine." Matsumoto said drunkly. She took out her cell phone and tossed it across the room to her. Tobiume smiled in response.

"Thanks." She flipped it open and started texting something. Hyourinmaru looked up.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Forwarding a message."

"And what's the message?"

"Something to Shirayuki-san... And the rest of the Shinigami!" Hyourinmaru stood up and walked over to her.

"What?!" He said. Matsumoto and Haineko stopped doing whatever they were doing and just watched from a distance.

"You heard me! A dramatic, sappy poem to Sode no Shirayuki, forwarded to every single damned person on this phone, which is pretty much everyone, from the ice captain Hitsugaya Toushiro's zanpakuto, Hyourinmaru!" She screamed into his face.

"If you do say anything about the fact that I like Shirayuki, I'm telling everyone about who you like! Obviously, it's-" he didn't finish, because Tobiume clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Don't you dare!"

"Oh, yes, I dare!"

"Then I'm sending this!"

"No way in hell!" He reached for the phone, which was kinda hard cause they were getting all tangled up.

Matsumoto and Haineko watched in silence. Then Matsumoto asked her zanpakuto, "Are you getting all this?"

Haineko nodded. "Uhhuh. I never knew both of them were like this. Tobiume, I mean, I knew about. But Hyourinmaru?" She shook her head. "Next time we should ask for a video camera." Matsumoto nodded.

"Or maybe a camera." Then she brightened. "A camera! Watch them," She told her, "I'm gonna borrow one from Shuuhei!" And off she went.

Tobiume and Hyourinmaru were not doing well. By that I mean they were pulling and pinching and hitting each other, and were making a big mess out of the 10th division. "Give it to me!" Tobiume snarled at Hyourinmaru, who had taken the phone back.

"No!" Frustrated, Tobiume pulled back and got her bells ready.

"You are dead! Snap!" She commanded, and whirled about, aiming fireballs at Hyourinmaru, who dodged elegantly in response.

"Was that a challenge?" He said cooly, drawing his sword. "Fine by me. Sit upon the frozen heavens." And they engaged in battle. In no time, explosions were all over Seireitei, and many Shinigami gathered outside to see what was happening. Hinamori looked out the window from where she was taking care of Hitsugaya. When she saw two figures, followed by two others, she sighed aloud.

"They're at it again? Oh, well. Good luck, Rangiku-san." She mumbled, and then turned her full attention back to her childhood friend, who looked very pale right now.

"Here! I borrowed two cameras!" Matsumoto thrusted one camera into Haineko's hands, and then went ahead of her to get frontal pictures of the two fighting. Haineko aimed the camera and got multiple shots of the twosome.

"Bankai!" Hyourinmaru was saying, and turned back into his original form, then lunged at Tobiume.

"Unfair! Unfair!" She pouted for a second, and then dodged the attack, making Hyourinmaru crash face first into the 1st division building. "Oh! What now?" She said tauntingly.

Hyourinmaru shook his head as ice fell around him. "You..." He snarled, and shunpoed behind her. She turned around just as he sent a blast of ice and snow at her, sending her back towards the Kuchiki household.

Kuchiki Byakuya was calmly sipping tea. He was watching the fish in the koi pond, happy to have a relaxing moment after a while. Then Tobiume flew through the gate, ice following her, causing the pond to freeze.

"What was that?" Tobiume shouted outloud, picking her way through the frozen garden-like place. Then she hopped out as if nothing had happened and dashed to attack Hyourinmaru, leaving Byakuya there by himself. After what seemed like an eternity, he calmly got up, and Senbonzakura appeared behind him.

"Whoever that was, they are going down." Then they shunpoed off.

* * *

Please R&R! This was a random idea, because who says that Hyourinmaru and Tobiume got along well? Not me. It's fun to think about what they might fight about, and I'm gonna stick with this idea.


End file.
